[gaslit] How has gaslit come to mean what it means (since 1938)?

Post by Ken Blake
The term "gaslighting" comes from a 1938 play titled Gas Light, which was
adapted into the 1940 film Gas Light, followed by the better-known 1944
film Gaslight, starring Charles Boyer and Ingrid Bergman. In each work, a
male protagonist convinces his wife she's imagining things that are
actually happening-including the dimming of the house's gas lights-with the
result of making her believe she's gone insane.

When I first came across this term used in this sense I wondered if it
might apply to a bloke I once shared a house with. He was very moody,
and when he was in a good mood he could be pleasant and polite, but
when he got the sulks he could be petty and vindictive.

He would leave his car behind mine in the driveway so I couldn't go
out (and yet be out himself). He had the telephone switchboard in his
room, and would go out and lock it and ensure that none of the phones
elsewhere in the house worked. He would turn his back on people to
lock them out of conversations, and I had evidence that he was reading
my letters, and behaving like a police spy. At times he made me feel
as if I was going mad, or as if he was trying to drive me mad.

After a few months it seemed that his worst moods had a pattern, and
coincided with the full moon.

So when I came across the term "gaslighting" used in that sense, I
thought it might apply to his behaviour, but I'm still not sure.

--
Steve Hayes from Tshwane, South Africa
Web: http://www.khanya.org.za/stevesig.htm
Blog: http://khanya.wordpress.com
E-mail - see web page, or parse: shayes at dunelm full stop org full stop uk

Peter Moylan

2024-09-19 07:14:32 UTC

Post by Ken Blake
The term "gaslighting" comes from a 1938 play titled Gas Light,
which was adapted into the 1940 film Gas Light, followed by the
better-known 1944 film Gaslight, starring Charles Boyer and Ingrid
Bergman. In each work, a male protagonist convinces his wife she's
imagining things that are actually happening-including the dimming
of the house's gas lights-with the result of making her believe
she's gone insane.

When I first came across this term used in this sense I wondered if
it might apply to a bloke I once shared a house with. He was very
moody, and when he was in a good mood he could be pleasant and
polite, but when he got the sulks he could be petty and vindictive.
He would leave his car behind mine in the driveway so I couldn't go
out (and yet be out himself). He had the telephone switchboard in
his room, and would go out and lock it and ensure that none of the
phones elsewhere in the house worked. He would turn his back on
people to lock them out of conversations, and I had evidence that he
was reading my letters, and behaving like a police spy. At times he
made me feel as if I was going mad, or as if he was trying to drive
me mad.
After a few months it seemed that his worst moods had a pattern, and
coincided with the full moon.
So when I came across the term "gaslighting" used in that sense, I
thought it might apply to his behaviour, but I'm still not sure.

That's pretty nasty behaviour, but I wouldn't call it gaslighting.

Gaslighting is tampering with someone's memory. The most basic technique
is to deny the truth of what that person remembers, to make them feel
that their memory is faulty. That can segue into tricks like moving
furniture about and then insisting that it was always like that.

I've been subjected to that sort of thing, but I'm still not sure
whether it was deliberate. This was from a person who would make up
stories and then, apparently, genuinely believe that they were true.

--
Peter Moylan ***@pmoylan.org http://www.pmoylan.org
Newcastle, NSW

Bertel Lund Hansen

2024-09-19 07:17:37 UTC

Post by Steve Hayes
When I first came across this term used in this sense I wondered if it
might apply to a bloke I once shared a house with. He was very moody,
and when he was in a good mood he could be pleasant and polite, but
when he got the sulks he could be petty and vindictive.
He would leave his car behind mine in the driveway so I couldn't go
out (and yet be out himself). He had the telephone switchboard in his
room, and would go out and lock it and ensure that none of the phones
elsewhere in the house worked. He would turn his back on people to
lock them out of conversations, and I had evidence that he was reading
my letters, and behaving like a police spy. At times he made me feel
as if I was going mad, or as if he was trying to drive me mad.
After a few months it seemed that his worst moods had a pattern, and
coincided with the full moon.
So when I came across the term "gaslighting" used in that sense, I
thought it might apply to his behaviour, but I'm still not sure.

From your description I would just say that he was a control freak with
little (or no) emotional empathy.

--
Bertel
Kolt, Denmark

Snidely

2024-09-19 19:16:36 UTC

Post by Bertel Lund Hansen

From your description I would just say that he was a control freak with
little (or no) emotional empathy.

I agree gaslighting is not appropriate in this case.

But I'm mildly surprised at this thread, because I strongly suspect
that both Ken Blakes were around the last time gaslighting came up in
this group, and that the movie itself has been discussed in previous
thread incarnations.

/dps "*I* learned it here!"

--
But happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue. One must have a reason
to 'be happy.'"
Viktor Frankl

david

2024-09-19 21:11:20 UTC

Post by Snidely
"*I* learned it here!"

We could search the archives at https://tinyurl.com/alt-usage-english & at
https://tinyurl.com/nova-alt-usage-english for "[gaslighting]" to find out.

Stefan Ram

2024-09-20 15:08:55 UTC

Post by david
We could search the archives

Um, ok.

- A personal selection:

|"Gaslight", I think...or was the point there just to make someone think
|she was crazy?...
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
R H Draney on 2005-04-20 15:51:06+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: May Day OxBoink

|The term "gaslighting" comes from the play Gas Light and its film
|adaptations. In those works a character uses a variety of tricks to
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Irwell on 2012-04-07 16:18:30+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: Gaslight

|Huh. I had never before heard of this sense. "Gaslight" to me could
|only mean a gas flame used as a source of illumination. Boston still
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Garrett Wollman on 2012-04-07 18:45:23+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: Gaslight

|It's a lot older than the movie/play "Gaslight" too...Petruchio used
|it to soften up Katharina....r
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
R H Draney on 2012-04-09 10:27:08+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: Gaslight

|Is Paula being gaslighted by her husband?
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Helen Lacedaemonian on 2016-02-17 18:38:46+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: Lighting

|highlighted, not highlit
|gaslit, not gaslighted
|moonlit, not moonlighted
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
John Varela on 2016-02-17 20:38:20+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: Lighting

|"Gaslighted" is the past participle:
|Veronica feared her sister was being gaslighted by her new lover.
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Helen Lacedaemonian on 2016-02-18 00:23:11+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: Lighting

|"Gaslit" is the adjective form:
|The gaslit streets were empty after midnight.
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Helen Lacedaemonian on 2016-02-18 00:23:11+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: Lighting

|"Gaslighted" is the past participle:
|Veronica feared her sister was being gaslighted by her new lover.
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Helen Lacedaemonian on 2016-02-18 00:23:11+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: Lighting

|"Gaslit" is the adjective form:
|The gaslit streets were empty after midnight.
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Helen Lacedaemonian on 2016-02-18 00:23:11+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: Lighting

|gaslight:
|to manipulate someone by psychological means into questioning
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Helen Lacedaemonian on 2016-02-19 02:22:30+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: Lighting

|Mysterious footsteps, "misplaced" objects, and inexplicably dimming
|gaslights (thus the title) are all part of his nefarious plan.'
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
CDB on 2016-02-19 14:51:11+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: Lighting

|all goes well, to thereby actually drive the person insane. The term
|refers to the great 1944 suspense film "Gaslight" in which a greedy
|Victorian husband (Charles Boyer) conspires to convince his innocent
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
CDB on 2016-02-19 14:51:11+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: Lighting

|'To "gaslight" someone is more than simply to create mischief. It means
|to manipulate a victim into questioning his or her own sanity and, if
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
CDB on 2016-02-19 14:51:11+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: Lighting

|From the movie _Gaslight_, a description of what Charles Boyer does to
|Ingrid Bergman would be "gaslighted" I think, rather than gaslit.
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Charles Bishop on 2016-02-20 00:21:11+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: Lighting

|It's a term used in the psychology community, especially among those
|who specialize in or have and interest in relationship counseling.
|Google "gaslighting" and look at the kinds of links that come up:
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Helen Lacedaemonian on 2016-02-20 07:11:06+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: Lighting

|What's gaslighting?
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
CDB on 2016-02-22 06:04:33+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: "every how many-th?"

|(which, of course, they are) but the exact meaning of
|gaslighting. Normally gaslighting is used when a
|would-be dominant person tries to manipulate anothe
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
David Kleinecke on 2017-01-27 20:49:21+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: Gaslighting

|I read a post on Patheos entitled "We Cannot Report a
|Lie: Has NPR been Gaslighted by Trump?"
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
David Kleinecke on 2017-01-27 20:49:21+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: Gaslighting

|Assuming we all know what gaslighting is, the article
|hinges on NPR's reluctance to call Trump's "alternative
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
David Kleinecke on 2017-01-27 20:49:21+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: Gaslighting

|Is gaslighting really the best way to describe this?
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
David Kleinecke on 2017-01-27 20:49:21+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: Gaslighting

|I think of the blue ones as old and the yellow-orange ones as new, but
|there must have been gaslights at some point, unless people are just
|telling me that to make me think I'm crazy.
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Jerry Friedman on 2017-04-17 17:14:52+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: Murdoch: touched

|Dame Angela's very first movie is now in everyone's consciousness with
|the recently popular term "gaslighting."
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Peter T. Daniels on 2017-06-05 04:15:14+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: RIP Sir Roger Moore

|You think that Britons had a monopoly on 'Gaslight'?
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
J. J. Lodder on 2017-12-31 15:26:18+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: What becomes of it?

|You' re probably gaslighted.
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Bart Dinnissen on 2018-04-17 17:55:01+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: Speakerine

|You are gaslighting. I never said you could be a researcher by just
|reading a book, but if you were studying bicameralism, for instance,
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Mack A. Damia on 2018-11-03 16:40:51+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: Tariff engineering

|Gaslighting is a pattern of behaviour that is part of abusive
|relationships..
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Dingbat on 2019-01-05 22:49:28+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: How common is the term gaslighting?

|Your dates are WA-A-A-A-AY off. It was Charles Boyer gaslighting
|Ingrid Bergman, and Angela Lansbury's first film role, as a maid.
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Peter T. Daniels on 2019-01-05 23:19:30+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: How common is the term gaslighting?

|"... Gaslighting was also the main theme in a 2016 plotline in BBC's
|radio soap opera The Archers. The story concerned the emotional abuse
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
pensive hamster on 2019-01-06 01:26:44+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: How common is the term gaslighting?

|The Wikipedia article also mentions that gaslighting was featured in
|BBC Radio 4's "The Archers". I'm not an Archers listener, but I was
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
pensive hamster on 2019-01-06 01:26:44+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: How common is the term gaslighting?

|[Subject: gaslighting.]
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Peter Moylan on 2019-01-06 13:23:32+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: How common is the term gaslighting?

|A quick Google suggests that this is not the case. References to the
|"gaslighting" plot in the Archers far exceed those using any other
|description. But neither figure is exactly huge and the show's
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Madrigal Gurneyhalt on 2019-01-06 14:26:02+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: How common is the term gaslighting?

|That may be a better term in the case of ongoing abuse. But
|"gaslighting" can be used on a much smaller scale.
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Quinn C on 2019-01-06 19:26:41+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: How common is the term gaslighting?

|third person) "it was just a joke" or "you're too sensitive" or "but
|he's not a racist", that is now popularly analyzed as gaslighting.
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Quinn C on 2019-01-06 19:26:41+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: How common is the term gaslighting?

|Vertigo is also an excellent example for gaslighting, I'd say.
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Quinn C on 2019-01-06 19:49:33+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: How common is the term gaslighting?

|1965 Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C. (The Grudge Match) (transcript of TV
|programme) 12 Nov. Sarge. That gaslighting worked on me too.
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
pensive hamster on 2019-01-07 00:11:38+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: How common is the term gaslighting?

|1965 Reporter 2 Dec. 32 Some troubled persons having even gone
|so far as to charge malicious intent and premeditated ‘gaslighting’.
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
pensive hamster on 2019-01-07 00:11:38+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: How common is the term gaslighting?

|But I don't think the two terms, coercive control and gaslighting, are
|necessarily synonymous. Gaslighting can also occur outside an
|intimate or family relationship. The OED gives some examples:
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
pensive hamster on 2019-01-07 00:11:38+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: How common is the term gaslighting?

|in social media. Even calling someone a "snowflake" (= over-sensitive)
|can be a form of gaslighting.
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
pensive hamster on 2019-01-07 00:11:38+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: How common is the term gaslighting?

|marriage, but also in friendships, families, the military and at work.
|Gaslighting tends to start gradually, and can often appear ridiculous
|and everyday at first, for example being accused of overreacting
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
pensive hamster on 2019-01-07 00:11:38+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: How common is the term gaslighting?

|"[Gaslighting] occurs in romantic relationships, like Rob and Helen’s
|marriage, but also in friendships, families, the military and at work.
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
pensive hamster on 2019-01-07 00:11:38+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: How common is the term gaslighting?

|1961 A. S. C. Wallace Culture & Personality 183 While
|‘gaslighting’ itself may be a mythical crime, there is no question
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
pensive hamster on 2019-01-07 00:11:38+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: How common is the term gaslighting?

|1978 R. Charell How to get Upper Hand 23 ‘Gaslighting’: The Art of
|Disorienting Your Antagonist.
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
pensive hamster on 2019-01-07 00:11:38+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: How common is the term gaslighting?

|1997 Vanity Fair (N.Y.) Sept. 328/2 He's very artful at
|gaslighting... You feel like you're the one that's going crazy—like
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
pensive hamster on 2019-01-07 00:11:38+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: How common is the term gaslighting?

|2008 B. Welch State of Confusion ii. 25 Political gaslighting is a
|sophisticated psychological art form that has combined with mass
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
pensive hamster on 2019-01-07 00:11:38+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: How common is the term gaslighting?

|But I don't think the two terms, coercive control and gaslighting, are
|necessarily synonymous. Gaslighting can also occur outside an
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
pensive hamster on 2019-01-07 00:11:38+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: How common is the term gaslighting?

|I think gaslighting can sometimes be used as a means of bullying
|in social media. Even calling someone a "snowflake" (= over-sensitive)
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
pensive hamster on 2019-01-07 00:11:38+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: How common is the term gaslighting?

|gaslighting
|The action or process of manipulating a person by psychological means
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
pensive hamster on 2019-01-07 00:11:38+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: How common is the term gaslighting?

|[gaslighting]
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
CDB on 2019-01-07 14:28:05+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: How common is the term gaslighting?

|Gaslighting won't work.
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Quinn C on 2019-09-11 04:41:52+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: On Consistency in The Politics of Language

|Maybe Alma is conspiring with her sister to gaslight you.
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Jack on 2019-10-12 15:30:30+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: Is it a Curse?

|diligently avoided addressing it directly, instead creating fogs around
|it. It has aspects of deflecting, but also of gaslighting.
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Quinn C on 2020-05-27 00:28:41+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: a.u.e. members web site

|inconvenient partner by trying to drive them crazy/away.
|"Gaslighted," not "gaslit." (The latter would have its literal
|meaning, 'lit by gas', so this one is more like Pinker's example
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Peter T. Daniels on 2021-03-01 15:51:53+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: -lighted or -lit?

|without notice, rather than the slightly less recent meaning,
|taken from the movie *Gaslight*, of trying to get rid of an
|inconvenient partner by trying to drive them crazy/away.
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Peter T. Daniels on 2021-03-01 15:51:53+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: -lighted or -lit?

|Similarly with the recently popular "to gaslight," which seems
|to mean, these days, to simply stop seeing a former partner
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Peter T. Daniels on 2021-03-01 15:51:53+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: -lighted or -lit?

|There are three different terms, gaslighting, ghosting and the hybrid
|ghostlighting. Gaslighting is to try to make someone question
|reality. To stop seeing or replying to someone suddenly and without
|explanation
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Horace LaBadie on 2021-03-01 17:25:33+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: -lighted or -lit?

|Makes sense. These days, on the radio I hear people talking about
|ghosting with the term gaslighting. (But not "ghostlighting." Maybe
|it was a transitory waystation on the way to generalizing the older
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Peter T. Daniels on 2021-03-01 17:46:25+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: -lighted or -lit?

|I have never heard gaslight to mean this. It always means to [mess]
|with someone in a way that tries to convince them their memory is
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
(For this digest one word was changed into "[mess]" above.)
Lewis on 2021-03-01 19:47:45+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: -lighted or -lit?

|No, gaslight doesn't imply trying ti get rid of someone. It's simply an
|attempt to convince someone their memory is wrong in order to gain some
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Lewis on 2021-03-01 19:47:45+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: -lighted or -lit?

|Much the same problem as with "gaslit".
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Peter Moylan on 2021-03-02 01:24:04+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: -lighted or -lit?

|Just heard a reporter saying about Texas: "People feel almost gaslit by
|the fact that the weather changed so rapidly."
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Quinn C on 2021-03-05 19:15:20+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: -lighted or -lit?

|NB if anyone was wired for gas during the power outage, maybe
|they _were_ gaslit.
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Peter T. Daniels on 2021-03-05 23:45:04+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: -lighted or -lit?

|called weather "deceptive" and "treacherous" for a long time, so it's
|not that big a leap to imagine it gaslighting us.
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Quinn C on 2021-03-06 00:04:52+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: -lighted or -lit?

|I had not heard this expression before. Nor is its meaning very
|obvious. Gaslights were dimmer than current electric lights. At the
|same time, they gave a warmer glow (lower Kelvin temperature) than
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
occam on 2021-03-26 10:41:46+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: 'Gaslighting' language - what could it mean?

|they gave a warmer glow (lower Kelvin temperature) than current
|lightbulbs. "Gaslighting language" has stumped me.
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
occam on 2021-03-26 10:41:46+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: 'Gaslighting' language - what could it mean?

|"Ms Higgins has accused him of using "gaslighting" language and
|doubting victims. "
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
occam on 2021-03-26 10:41:46+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: 'Gaslighting' language - what could it mean?

|makes someone question their sanity, perception of reality, or
|memories. People experiencing gaslighting often feel confused, anxious,
|and unable to trust themselves.
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
soup on 2021-03-26 11:35:39+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: 'Gaslighting' language - what could it mean?

|A rough idea of "gaslighting" is denying you said something to make
|the person doubt themselves, "I told you last week I was going to be
|out"
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
soup on 2021-03-26 11:35:39+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: 'Gaslighting' language - what could it mean?

|Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse where a person or group
|makes someone question their sanity, perception of reality, or
|memories.
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
soup on 2021-03-26 11:35:39+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: 'Gaslighting' language - what could it mean?

|The term gaslighting derives from the 1938 play and 1944 film
|Gaslight, in which a husband manipulates his wife into thinking
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
soup on 2021-03-26 11:35:39+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: 'Gaslighting' language - what could it mean?

|in "Mr. Monk and the Girl Who Cried Wolf" (Monk S03E06),
|where someone is trying to gaslight Sharona.
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Stefan Ram on 2021-03-26 16:32:41+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: 'Gaslighting' language - what could it mean?

|(based on the idea of progress, perhaps?)
|Gaslight is not in some way intermediate
|between candle light and light bulbs.
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
J. J. Lodder on 2021-03-26 16:48:02+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: 'Gaslighting' language - what could it mean?

|"Gaslight" does not refer to emissions of electrically excited gases.
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Garrett Wollman on 2021-03-26 19:03:42+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: 'Gaslighting' language - what could it mean?

|First off, C&L used strikethrough not because they were agreeing this
|wasn't gaslighting, but in a passive-aggressive accusation that it WAS.
|You've been gone from the Anglosphere too long if this isn't part of
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Chrysi Cat on 2021-03-26 21:04:13+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: 'Gaslighting' language - what could it mean?

|manipulate (someone) by psychological means into doubting their own
|sanity: in the first episode, Karen Valentine is being gaslighted by
|her husband. [from the storyline of the film Gaslight (1944), in which
|a man psychologically manipulates his wife into believing that she i
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Lewis on 2021-03-26 22:48:13+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: 'Gaslighting' language - what could it mean?

|verb (gaslights, gaslighting, gaslighted) [with object]
|manipulate (someone) by psychological means into doubting their own
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Lewis on 2021-03-26 22:48:13+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: 'Gaslighting' language - what could it mean?

|different memories of events so often that her psychiatrist thought
|I was gaslighting her. He changed his mind after meeting me, and
|eventually suggested to me that I read up on narcissism.
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Peter Moylan on 2021-03-27 02:52:10+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: 'Gaslighting' language - what could it mean?

|'I think the article is slightly mistaken about the details of the
|term's origin. It does indeed stem from the film "Gaslight" but the
|flickering / dimming of the gas lighting was not a deliberate ploy
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
pensive hamster on 2021-03-29 13:25:33+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: 'Gaslighting' language - what could it mean?

|changes including low self-esteem. Using denial, misdirection,
|contradiction, and misinformation, gaslighting involves attempts to
|destabilize the victim and delegitimize the victim's beliefs.'
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
pensive hamster on 2021-03-29 13:25:33+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: 'Gaslighting' language - what could it mean?

|'Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which a person
|or a group covertly sows seeds of doubt in a targeted individual or
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
pensive hamster on 2021-03-29 13:25:33+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: 'Gaslighting' language - what could it mean?

|'The Archers domestic abuse is classic "gaslighting"– very real,
|little understood'
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
pensive hamster on 2021-03-29 13:25:33+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: 'Gaslighting' language - what could it mean?

|Apparently Oxford Dictionaries named 'gaslighting' as one of the most
|popular words of 2018. Wikipedia defines it as:
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
pensive hamster on 2021-03-29 13:25:33+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: 'Gaslighting' language - what could it mean?

|I think the term "gaslighting" was originally an American term, but
|has started to be fairly widely used in the UK, prompted by a 2016
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
pensive hamster on 2021-03-29 13:25:33+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: 'Gaslighting' language - what could it mean?

|Don't let Crisis Cat tell you otherwise. I was almost gaslighted about
|this!
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Pamela on 2021-05-01 14:19:26+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: "Hallway"

|I don't think you know what gaslighted means?
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Lewis on 2021-05-01 16:03:40+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: "Hallway"

|hit a fly ball that was caught, he flied out, not flew out. Ingrid
|Bergman was gaslighted, not gaslit. (Though she was gaslit until
|the house was electrified.)
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Peter T. Daniels on 2021-11-15 22:46:07+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: What is that?

|Gaslighting.
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Ruud Harmsen on 2022-03-16 08:57:17+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: Too much casual sex in the news

|It wasn't weird. You tried to gaslight me into believing it is weird.
|But all your attempts failed. And voice training _of the listener_ is
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Ruud Harmsen on 2022-04-22 08:40:37+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: "frexit"??

|of the ISSUE of his lying? How far is this from trolling, or (OTOH)
|from gaslighting?
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Rich Ulrich on 2022-10-05 02:47:45+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: Is it me or is everything...?

|I have experienced gaslighting, and I doubt that Merriam-Webster could
|add anything to my knowledge of this strategy.
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Peter Moylan on 2022-11-28 13:30:26+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: 'Gaslighting' language - what could it mean?

|Not unlike Munchausen by Proxy there is also Gaslighting by Proxy in
|which a third party or caretaker lends doubt to the reality of a
|situation or definition of sanity.
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
bozo de niro on 2022-11-28 15:01:31+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: 'Gaslighting' language - what could it mean?

|The verb "gaslight," however, is not.
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Peter T. Daniels on 2022-11-29 19:18:11+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: 'Gaslighting' language - what could it mean?

|Using it as a verb is relatively new, but in "Fanny by Gaslight" it is
|a noun.
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Peter Moylan on 2022-11-30 00:49:32+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: 'Gaslighting' language - what could it mean?

|Last week Merriam-Webster announced that its word of the year is
|“gaslighting” — psychological manipulation intended to make a person
|question the validity of their own thoughts.
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
kyonshi on 2022-12-06 09:17:20+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: Oxford Dictionaries names ‘goblin mode’ its word of the year

|Incidentally, Merriam-Webster's Word of the Year ("gaslighting,"
|this time) is simply the one lexical item that is most often looked
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Peter T. Daniels on 2022-12-06 18:01:36+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: Oxford Dictionaries names ‘goblin mode’ its word of the year

|My Thunderbird is gaslighting me.
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Peter Moylan on 2023-01-14 04:29:31+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: compounding sounds

|(I'm happy to see the squiggler doesn't like "gaslit" but accepts
|"gaslighted.")
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Peter T. Daniels on 2023-07-19 20:01:49+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: Mice

|someone think they're crazy, as in the original movie -- is sometimes "
|he gaslit her" rather than "he gaslighted her." (Though why that's
|become 'he stopped responding to her', I understand not.)
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Peter T. Daniels on 2023-07-19 20:01:49+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: Mice

|(I'm happy to see the squiggler doesn't like "gaslit" but accepts
|"gaslighted.")
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Peter T. Daniels on 2023-07-19 20:01:49+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: Mice

|It bothers me that the past tense of "to gaslight" -- i.e. to make
|someone think they're crazy, as in the original movie -- is sometimes "
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Peter T. Daniels on 2023-07-19 20:01:49+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: Mice

|will try to explain how serious infractions that lead to one’s
|termination are trivial matters? If this was an attempt at gaslighting,
|it was abysmal. There’s no need to split hairs here—and doing so makes
'-----------------------------------------------------------------------
useapen on 2024-01-03 09:29:09+00:00 in alt.usage.english,
Subject: No Way CNN Tried to Sell This a Legitimate Defense of Claudine
Gay's Plagiarism

Bertel Lund Hansen

2024-09-20 08:43:29 UTC

Post by Snidely

Post by Bertel Lund Hansen
From your description I would just say that he was a control freak with
little (or no) emotional empathy.

I agree gaslighting is not appropriate in this case.
But I'm mildly surprised at this thread, because I strongly suspect
that both Ken Blakes were around the last time gaslighting came up in
this group, and that the movie itself has been discussed in previous
thread incarnations.

Get used to that sort of thing. It will get more and more common.

--
Bertel
Kolt, Denmark

Snidely

2024-09-20 14:35:41 UTC

Post by Bertel Lund Hansen

Post by Snidely

Post by Bertel Lund Hansen
From your description I would just say that he was a control freak with
little (or no) emotional empathy.

I agree gaslighting is not appropriate in this case.
But I'm mildly surprised at this thread, because I strongly suspect
that both Ken Blakes were around the last time gaslighting came up in
this group, and that the movie itself has been discussed in previous
thread incarnations.

Get used to that sort of thing. It will get more and more common.

Hey, we're /all/ getting younger!

-d

--
Let's celebrate Macaronesia

Adam Funk

2024-09-20 14:49:16 UTC

When I first came across this term used in this sense I wondered if it
might apply to a bloke I once shared a house with. He was very moody,
and when he was in a good mood he could be pleasant and polite, but
when he got the sulks he could be petty and vindictive.
He would leave his car behind mine in the driveway so I couldn't go
out (and yet be out himself). He had the telephone switchboard in his
room, and would go out and lock it and ensure that none of the phones
elsewhere in the house worked. He would turn his back on people to
lock them out of conversations, and I had evidence that he was reading
my letters, and behaving like a police spy. At times he made me feel
as if I was going mad, or as if he was trying to drive me mad.

What's the "telephone switchboard" in this case? To me, that's
something you used to find in office buildings, maybe, but not houses.

Post by Steve Hayes
After a few months it seemed that his worst moods had a pattern, and
coincided with the full moon.

Interesting!

Post by Steve Hayes
So when I came across the term "gaslighting" used in that sense, I
thought it might apply to his behaviour, but I'm still not sure.

--
$2.95!
PLATE O' SHRIMP
Luncheon Special

charles

2024-09-20 17:30:02 UTC

Post by Ken Blake
The term "gaslighting" comes from a 1938 play titled Gas Light, which
was adapted into the 1940 film Gas Light, followed by the better-known
1944 film Gaslight, starring Charles Boyer and Ingrid Bergman. In each
work, a male protagonist convinces his wife she's imagining things that
are actually happening-including the dimming of the house's gas
lights-with the result of making her believe she's gone insane.

When I first came across this term used in this sense I wondered if it
might apply to a bloke I once shared a house with. He was very moody,
and when he was in a good mood he could be pleasant and polite, but
when he got the sulks he could be petty and vindictive.
He would leave his car behind mine in the driveway so I couldn't go out
(and yet be out himself). He had the telephone switchboard in his room,
and would go out and lock it and ensure that none of the phones
elsewhere in the house worked. He would turn his back on people to lock
them out of conversations, and I had evidence that he was reading my
letters, and behaving like a police spy. At times he made me feel as if
I was going mad, or as if he was trying to drive me mad.

What's the "telephone switchboard" in this case? To me, that's something
you used to find in office buildings, maybe, but not houses.

I had one for about 30 years. It had 4 extensions. I got it before the days
of DECT phones allowing inter room call as as well as being able to answer
an incoming callanywhere in the house. It didn't survive my conversion to
VOIP; it could receive calls but not dial out.

--
from KT24 in Surrey, England - sent from my RISC OS 4té²
"I'd rather die of exhaustion than die of boredom" Thomas Carlyle

Adam Funk

2024-09-23 09:14:47 UTC

Post by Ken Blake
The term "gaslighting" comes from a 1938 play titled Gas Light, which
was adapted into the 1940 film Gas Light, followed by the better-known
1944 film Gaslight, starring Charles Boyer and Ingrid Bergman. In each
work, a male protagonist convinces his wife she's imagining things that
are actually happening-including the dimming of the house's gas
lights-with the result of making her believe she's gone insane.

When I first came across this term used in this sense I wondered if it
might apply to a bloke I once shared a house with. He was very moody,
and when he was in a good mood he could be pleasant and polite, but
when he got the sulks he could be petty and vindictive.
He would leave his car behind mine in the driveway so I couldn't go out
(and yet be out himself). He had the telephone switchboard in his room,
and would go out and lock it and ensure that none of the phones
elsewhere in the house worked. He would turn his back on people to lock
them out of conversations, and I had evidence that he was reading my
letters, and behaving like a police spy. At times he made me feel as if
I was going mad, or as if he was trying to drive me mad.

What's the "telephone switchboard" in this case? To me, that's something
you used to find in office buildings, maybe, but not houses.

That sounds like it carried out the functions of a modern set of
linked cordless phones (although not cordless then). What did it look
like?

--
The kid's a hot prospect. He's got a good head for merchandising, an
agent who can take you downtown and one of the best urine samples I've
seen in a long time. (Dead Kennedys t-shirt)

Steve Hayes

2024-09-24 02:05:27 UTC

Post by Ken Blake
The term "gaslighting" comes from a 1938 play titled Gas Light, which
was adapted into the 1940 film Gas Light, followed by the better-known
1944 film Gaslight, starring Charles Boyer and Ingrid Bergman. In each
work, a male protagonist convinces his wife she's imagining things that
are actually happening-including the dimming of the house's gas
lights-with the result of making her believe she's gone insane.

When I first came across this term used in this sense I wondered if it
might apply to a bloke I once shared a house with. He was very moody,
and when he was in a good mood he could be pleasant and polite, but
when he got the sulks he could be petty and vindictive.
He would leave his car behind mine in the driveway so I couldn't go out
(and yet be out himself). He had the telephone switchboard in his room,
and would go out and lock it and ensure that none of the phones
elsewhere in the house worked. He would turn his back on people to lock
them out of conversations, and I had evidence that he was reading my
letters, and behaving like a police spy. At times he made me feel as if
I was going mad, or as if he was trying to drive me mad.

What's the "telephone switchboard" in this case? To me, that's something
you used to find in office buildings, maybe, but not houses.

That sounds like it carried out the functions of a modern set of
linked cordless phones (although not cordless then). What did it look
like?

In the case I mentioned, it looked like an ordinary phone but with a
bunch of extra buttons, which could transfer a call to an extension,
or set it to transfer all incoming calls to any extension, and enable
outgoing calls from any extension.

There were various models, of lesser or greater complexity. In those
days phones had actual dials. Push-button phones weren't a thing, and
dialing out was only by pulse.

--
Steve Hayes from Tshwane, South Africa
Web: http://www.khanya.org.za/stevesig.htm
Blog: http://khanya.wordpress.com
E-mail - see web page, or parse: shayes at dunelm full stop org full stop uk

Adam Funk

2024-09-24 08:31:41 UTC

Post by Ken Blake
The term "gaslighting" comes from a 1938 play titled Gas Light, which
was adapted into the 1940 film Gas Light, followed by the better-known
1944 film Gaslight, starring Charles Boyer and Ingrid Bergman. In each
work, a male protagonist convinces his wife she's imagining things that
are actually happening-including the dimming of the house's gas
lights-with the result of making her believe she's gone insane.

When I first came across this term used in this sense I wondered if it
might apply to a bloke I once shared a house with. He was very moody,
and when he was in a good mood he could be pleasant and polite, but
when he got the sulks he could be petty and vindictive.
He would leave his car behind mine in the driveway so I couldn't go out
(and yet be out himself). He had the telephone switchboard in his room,
and would go out and lock it and ensure that none of the phones
elsewhere in the house worked. He would turn his back on people to lock
them out of conversations, and I had evidence that he was reading my
letters, and behaving like a police spy. At times he made me feel as if
I was going mad, or as if he was trying to drive me mad.

What's the "telephone switchboard" in this case? To me, that's something
you used to find in office buildings, maybe, but not houses.

That sounds like it carried out the functions of a modern set of
linked cordless phones (although not cordless then). What did it look
like?

In the case I mentioned, it looked like an ordinary phone but with a
bunch of extra buttons, which could transfer a call to an extension,
or set it to transfer all incoming calls to any extension, and enable
outgoing calls from any extension.
There were various models, of lesser or greater complexity. In those
days phones had actual dials. Push-button phones weren't a thing, and
dialing out was only by pulse.

I'd probably call that a "base station" now, unless "extension" is
like extensions in a big office, where more than one can be in use at
a time on different calls. (But just to be clear, I'm not disputing
your term.)

--
No right of private conversation was enumerated in the Constitution.
I don't suppose it occurred to anyone at the time that it could be
prevented. ---Whitfield Diffie

Steve Hayes

2024-09-25 02:33:50 UTC