my favourite joke

[Shine]

Here is the joke I cherish most, because I love one-liners that play on
words' double meanings.

An employer was asked to write a letter of reference for a lazy employee
whom he had recently dismissed. He wanted to be truthful, but also to give
the ex-employee a chance. So he wrote:
"This man was fired with enthusiasm. You will be lucky if you can get him to
work for you."

Do you have this kind of jokes that have to do with Enlgish usage and word's
double meanings? If so, please post it for me.

Shine.

[John Ings]

Post by Shine
Do you have this kind of jokes that have to do with Enlgish usage and word's
double meanings? If so, please post it for me.

My favorite is a triple pun.
It's not all that funny, but it is a perfect triple pun.

Three brothers bought a cattle ranch, where they proposed to raise and
sell beef cattle. They wrote their mother and asked her to suggest a
name for their new ranch. She replied that they should name the ranch
"Focus", because that's where the sons raise meat.

[Jordan Abel]

Post by John Ings

Post by Shine
Do you have this kind of jokes that have to do with Enlgish usage and word's
double meanings? If so, please post it for me.

My favorite is a triple pun.
It's not all that funny, but it is a perfect triple pun.
Three brothers bought a cattle ranch, where they proposed to raise and
sell beef cattle. They wrote their mother and asked her to suggest a
name for their new ranch. She replied that they should name the ranch
"Focus", because that's where the sons raise meat.

I don't get it. [I don't mean that I don't think it's funny (though I
don't), I mean I actually don't see any of the three meanings of the
alleged pun]

[John Ings]

Post by Jordan Abel

Post by John Ings
Three brothers bought a cattle ranch, where they proposed to raise and
sell beef cattle. They wrote their mother and asked her to suggest a
name for their new ranch. She replied that they should name the ranch
"Focus", because that's where the sons raise meat.

I don't get it. [I don't mean that I don't think it's funny (though I
don't), I mean I actually don't see any of the three meanings of the
alleged pun]

Where the sons raise meat.
Where the sun's rays meet.

[R H Draney]

Post by Jordan Abel

Post by John Ings
My favorite is a triple pun.
It's not all that funny, but it is a perfect triple pun.
Three brothers bought a cattle ranch, where they proposed to raise and
sell beef cattle. They wrote their mother and asked her to suggest a
name for their new ranch. She replied that they should name the ranch
"Focus", because that's where the sons raise meat.

I don't get it. [I don't mean that I don't think it's funny (though I
don't), I mean I actually don't see any of the three meanings of the
alleged pun]

I don't remember if Asimov used the term "triple pun" when he told the same
story, but in any event it doesn't refer to three meanings, but to a pun
involving three words: "sons raise meat" = "sun's rays meet"....r

[Dylan Nicholson]

Post by Jordan Abel

Post by John Ings
Three brothers bought a cattle ranch, where they proposed to raise and
sell beef cattle. They wrote their mother and asked her to suggest a
name for their new ranch. She replied that they should name the ranch
"Focus", because that's where the sons raise meat.

I don't get it. [I don't mean that I don't think it's funny (though I
don't), I mean I actually don't see any of the three meanings of the
alleged pun]

Well one of them is obvious (just say "sons raise meat" to yourself - it's a
verbal-only pun).
Either the other meaning is absurdly obscure, or just not at all funny - I
haven't decided yet.

[James Bremner]

Post by Jordan Abel

Post by John Ings

Post by Shine
Do you have this kind of jokes that have to do with Enlgish usage and word's
double meanings? If so, please post it for me.

My favorite is a triple pun.
It's not all that funny, but it is a perfect triple pun.
Three brothers bought a cattle ranch, where they proposed to raise and
sell beef cattle. They wrote their mother and asked her to suggest a
name for their new ranch. She replied that they should name the ranch
"Focus", because that's where the sons raise meat.

I don't get it. [I don't mean that I don't think it's funny (though I
don't), I mean I actually don't see any of the three meanings of the
alleged pun]

Sun's Rays Meet.
Sons Raise Meat.
Struggling for the third one..

[Spehro Pefhany]

On 27 Sep 2004 04:02:52 -0700, the renowned

Post by James Bremner

Post by Jordan Abel

Post by John Ings

Post by Shine
Do you have this kind of jokes that have to do with Enlgish usage and word's
double meanings? If so, please post it for me.

My favorite is a triple pun.
It's not all that funny, but it is a perfect triple pun.
Three brothers bought a cattle ranch, where they proposed to raise and
sell beef cattle. They wrote their mother and asked her to suggest a
name for their new ranch. She replied that they should name the ranch
"Focus", because that's where the sons raise meat.

I don't get it. [I don't mean that I don't think it's funny (though I
don't), I mean I actually don't see any of the three meanings of the
alleged pun]

Sun's Rays Meet.
Sons Raise Meat.
Struggling for the third one..

Maybe it's like a triple-decker sandwich.


Best regards,
Spehro Pefhany

[The Grammer Genious]

Post by Shine
Do you have this kind of jokes that have to do with Enlgish usage and word's
double meanings? If so, please post it for me.

From: http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/8_11.html

Dear Search Committee Chair,
I am writing this letter for Mr. John Smith who has applied for a
position
in your department. I should start by saying that I cannot
recommend him
too highly.
In fact, there is no other student with whom I can adequately
compare him,
and I am sure that the amount of mathematics he knows will
surprise you.
His dissertation is the sort of work you don't expect to see
these days. It
definitely demonstrates his complete capabilities.
In closing, let me say that you will be fortunate if you can get
him to
work for you.

Sincerely,
A. D. Visor (Prof.)

[Shine]

Post by Shine
Here is the joke I cherish most, because I love one-liners that play on
words' double meanings.
An employer was asked to write a letter of reference for a lazy employee
whom he had recently dismissed. He wanted to be truthful, but also to give
"This man was fired with enthusiasm. You will be lucky if you can get him
to work for you."
Do you have this kind of jokes that have to do with Enlgish usage and
word's double meanings? If so, please post it for me.
Shine.

My three favourite quotes:

1. I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
2. Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level.
3. Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

Try this: http://www.indianchild.com/funny_quotes.htm

[Shine]

Post by Shine

Post by Shine
Here is the joke I cherish most, because I love one-liners that play on
words' double meanings.
An employer was asked to write a letter of reference for a lazy employee
whom he had recently dismissed. He wanted to be truthful, but also to
"This man was fired with enthusiasm. You will be lucky if you can get him
to work for you."
Do you have this kind of jokes that have to do with Enlgish usage and
word's double meanings? If so, please post it for me.
Shine.

1. I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
2. Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level.
3. Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
Try this: http://www.indianchild.com/funny_quotes.htm

Regarding spelling, I like this joke most:
http://wallofjokes.shacknet.nu/Misc/EU_Standard_English.html

EU Standard English

The European Commission has announced an agreement whereby English
will be the official language of the EU, rather than German, which was the
other contender. Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had
room for improvement and has therefore accepted a five-year phasing in of
"Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will
make sivil servants jump for joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of
the "k", which should klear up some konfusion and allow one key less on
keyboards.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f", making words like "fotograf" 20%
shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of
the silent "e" is disgrasful.

By the fourth yer, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing
"th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer
kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten
styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and everivun vil find it ezi to
understand ech ozer. ZE DREM VIL FINALI COM TRU !

[Donna Richoux]

Post by Shine
http://wallofjokes.shacknet.nu/Misc/EU_Standard_English.html
EU Standard English
The European Commission has announced an agreement whereby English
will be the official language of the EU, rather than German, which was the
other contender. Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had
room for improvement and has therefore accepted a five-year phasing in of
"Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will
make sivil servants jump for joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of

[snip intervening steps]

Post by Shine
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer
kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten
styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and everivun vil find it ezi to
understand ech ozer. ZE DREM VIL FINALI COM TRU !

Yes, it's a classic, isn't it? Our "Intro E: Mini-FAQ on Spelling" lists
two earlier variants of this:

(1) A plan for the improvement of spelling, by M. J.
Shields
http://www.ojohaven.com/fun/spelling.html
[M. J. Shields was a critic of G. B. Shaw's spelling reform
ideas, according to the book "Another Almanac of Words at Play"
(William Espy, 1980, p. 80). Many web sites attribute this piece to
Mark Twain, but Twain scholars at the University of California
could find no supporting evidence for that.]

(2) MEIHEM IN CE KLASRUM by Dolton Edwards (in _Astounding SF_
1946)

http://www.ecphorizer.com/Articles1/meiheminceklasru.html

(3) The European Commission has just announced...

http://www.speedybar.ch/witze/jokes2000/spelling.html

This is the first time I noticed that the "Meihem In Ce Klasrum" story
has essentially the same ending line as the European version: "his drims
fainali keim tru." But without the same connotation.

[Klaus Moll]

Post by Shine
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer
kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl
riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and everivun vil
find it ezi to understand ech ozer. ZE DREM VIL FINALI COM TRU !

Read this aloud and you will get the impression, what it's like to hear
people speaking with a german accent :-)
So this would be a perfect compromise between english and german as
official laguage in the EU.

Kla *don't take me too serious* us

[Shine]

Post by Shine

Post by Shine
Here is the joke I cherish most, because I
love one-liners that play on words' double
meanings.
An employer was asked to write a letter of
reference for a lazy employee whom he had
recently dismissed. He wanted to be
truthful, but also to give the ex-employee a
chance. So he wrote: "This man was fired
with enthusiasm. You will be lucky if you
can get him to work for you."
Do you have this kind of jokes that have to
do with Enlgish usage and word's double
meanings? If so, please post it for me.
Shine.

1. I don't have an attitude problem. You
have a perception problem. 2. Never argue
with an idiot. They drag you down to their
level. 3. Always remember that you are
absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
http://www.indianchild.com/funny_quotes.htm

http://wallofjokes.shacknet.nu/Misc/EU_Standard_
English.html
EU Standard English
The European Commission has announced an
agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU, rather
than German, which was the other contender. Her Majesty's Government
conceded that English
spelling had room for improvement and has
therefore accepted a five-year phasing in of
"Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the
soft "c". Sertainly, this will make sivil servants jump for joy. The hard
"c"
will be dropped in favour of the "k", which
should klear up some konfusion and allow one
key less on keyboards.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in
the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f",
making words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of
the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more
komplikated changes are possible. Governments
will enkourage the removal of double letters
which have always ben a deterent to akurate
speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible
mes of the silent "e" is disgrasful.
By the fourth yer, peopl wil be reseptiv
to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan
be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors
be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After
zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten
styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis
and everivun vil find it ezi to understand ech
ozer. ZE DREM VIL FINALI COM TRU !

My favourite pronounciation Joke.

Two blondes landed at an airport in the states and caught a cab.
"Where would you like to go?" asked the cab driver.
"San Jose" one replied.
The cab driver corrected her pronunciation telling her that he "J" made an
"H" sound.
As time went by he asked how long they were on vacation.
The one blonde replied, "For all of Hune and Huly."

[David Fisher]

Post by Shine
Here is the joke I cherish most, because I love one-liners that play on
words' double meanings.
An employer was asked to write a letter of reference for a lazy employee
whom he had recently dismissed. He wanted to be truthful, but also to give
"This man was fired with enthusiasm. You will be lucky if you can get him to
work for you."
Do you have this kind of jokes that have to do with Enlgish usage and word's
double meanings? If so, please post it for me.

(Found on the internet ...)

Problem: Having to write letters of recommendation for people with very
dubious qualifications can cause serious legal troubles in a time when laws
have eroded the confidentiality of business letters. In most states, job
applicants have the right to read the letters of recommendation and can even
file suit against the writer if the contents are negative.

Solution: Here is an arsenal of statements that can be read two ways: You
are able to state a negative opinion of the ex-employees poor work habits,
while allowing the ex-employee to believe that it is high praise. When the
writer uses these, whether perceived correctly or not by the ex-employee,
the phrases are virtually litigation-proof.

1. To describe a person who is extremely lazy: "In my opinion, you will be
very fortunate to get this person to work for you."
2. To describe a person who is totally inept: "I most enthusiastically
recommend this candidate with no qualifications whatsoever."
3. To describe an ex-employee who you did not get on with: "I am pleased to
say that this candidate is a former colleague of mine."
4. To describe a candidate who is so unproductive that the job would be
better left unfilled: "I can assure you that no person would be better for
the job."
5. To describe someone who is very unpopular: "You won't find many people
like him."
6. To describe someone who is chronically absent: "A man like him is hard to
find."
7. To describe a job applicant who is not worth further consideration: "I
would urge you to waste no time in making this candidate an offer of
employment."
8. To describe a person with lackluster credentials: "All in all, I cannot
recommend this candidate too highly."

David Fisher
Sydney, Australia

[Tedfriet]

Post by Shine
Here is the joke I cherish most, because I love one-liners that play
on words' double meanings.
An employer was asked to write a letter of reference for a lazy
employee whom he had recently dismissed. He wanted to be truthful,
"This man was fired with enthusiasm. You will be lucky if you can get
him to work for you."
Do you have this kind of jokes that have to do with Enlgish usage and
word's double meanings? If so, please post it for me.
Shine.

Does this one qualify:
Because his legs were shot off by canonball, he had to put down his arms.

It's an old one, told by my English tutor donkey's years ago when I took a
course in Oxford and she explained what a pun was.
--
Cheers
http://home.in.tum.de/~jain/software/oe-quotefix/

A little learning is a dang'rous thing.;
Drink deep, or taste not the Pierian spring;
There shallow draughts intoxicate the brain,
And drinking largely sobers us again.

Alexander Pope

[Mike Lyle]

Tedfriet wrote:
[...]

Post by Tedfriet
Because his legs were shot off by canonball, he had to put down his arms.
It's an old one, told by my English tutor donkey's years ago when I
took a course in Oxford and she explained what a pun was.

She didn't tell you the whole rhyme:

Ben Battle was a soldier bold,
And used to war's alarms.
A cannon-ball took off his legs,
So he laid down his arms.

Mike.

[Jerry Friedman]

Post by Shine
Here is the joke I cherish most, because I love one-liners that play on
words' double meanings.

I'm more familiar with "one-liner" meaning a joke that's really one
line, like "Now take my wife--please."

Post by Shine
An employer was asked to write a letter of reference for a lazy employee
whom he had recently dismissed. He wanted to be truthful, but also to give
"This man was fired with enthusiasm. You will be lucky if you can get him to
work for you."
Do you have this kind of jokes that have to do with Enlgish usage and word's
double meanings? If so, please post it for me.

Two atoms are walking down the street. One says, "Hey, I lost an
electron!"

The other says, "Are you sure?"

The first one says, "Yes, I'm positive."



When I tell my students that's my favorite physics joke, they wonder
what the worse ones are like.

[M. J. Powell]

Post by Jerry Friedman

Post by Shine
Here is the joke I cherish most, because I love one-liners that play

on

Post by Shine
words' double meanings.

I'm more familiar with "one-liner" meaning a joke that's really one
line, like "Now take my wife--please."

Post by Shine
An employer was asked to write a letter of reference for a lazy

employee

Post by Shine
whom he had recently dismissed. He wanted to be truthful, but also to

give

Post by Shine
"This man was fired with enthusiasm. You will be lucky if you can get

him to

Post by Shine
work for you."
Do you have this kind of jokes that have to do with Enlgish usage and

word's

Post by Shine
double meanings? If so, please post it for me.

Two atoms are walking down the street. One says, "Hey, I lost an
electron!"
The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first one says, "Yes, I'm positive."
When I tell my students that's my favorite physics joke, they wonder
what the worse ones are like.

'Why is the Earth flat at the poles'?

'To stop the Eskimos from sliding off.'

(My Physics teacher)

Mike

[Alan Dunford]

Post by Shine
Here is the joke I cherish most, because I love one-liners that play on
words' double meanings.
An employer was asked to write a letter of reference for a lazy employee
whom he had recently dismissed. He wanted to be truthful, but also to give
"This man was fired with enthusiasm. You will be lucky if you can get him to
work for you."
Do you have this kind of jokes that have to do with Enlgish usage and word's
double meanings? If so, please post it for me.
Shine.

Yes my own favourite (slightly risque) joke:-

A blonde went into a bar and asked the barman to give her a double
entendre.

So the barman came to the other side of the bar and gave her one.


"gave her one" is slang for having sexual intercourse with a lady/woman.

[Mike Lyle]

Alan Dunford wrote:
[...]

Post by Alan Dunford
"gave her one" is slang for having sexual intercourse with a
lady/woman.

You use the same expression when it's a lady as when it's only a
woman? I'm shocked.

Mike.

[Alan Dunford]

Post by Mike Lyle
[...]

Post by Alan Dunford
"gave her one" is slang for having sexual intercourse with a
lady/woman.

You use the same expression when it's a lady as when it's only a
woman? I'm shocked.
Mike.

Well I knew I had made a mistake as soon as I hit the send button. It was
a tough call (am I allowed to use such terms on this list?) but "female"
did not seem appropriate - could have been a female gorilla - or a bird,
or many other terms which I am sure are well known to you all.

Howver I am puzzled by the "only a woman" bit.

Reminds me of the old music-hall gag - "Who was that lady I saw you with
last night?"

"That was no lady. That was my wife."

Regards

[Mike Lyle]

Post by Alan Dunford

Post by Mike Lyle
[...]

Post by Alan Dunford
"gave her one" is slang for having sexual intercourse with a
lady/woman.

You use the same expression when it's a lady as when it's only a
woman? I'm shocked.
Mike.

Well I knew I had made a mistake as soon as I hit the send button.
It was a tough call (am I allowed to use such terms on this list?)
but "female" did not seem appropriate - could have been a female
gorilla - or a bird, or many other terms which I am sure are well
known to you all.
Howver I am puzzled by the "only a woman" bit.
Reminds me of the old music-hall gag - "Who was that lady I saw you
with last night?"
"That was no lady. That was my wife."

That's the right area. I was harking back to the days when all ladies
were women, but not all women were ladies.

"The Queen did what God couldn't: she made [insert whoever, but "M.
Thatcher" was a popular choice for a while] a lady."

Mike.

[Donna Richoux]

Post by Alan Dunford
Yes my own favourite (slightly risque) joke:-
A blonde went into a bar and asked the barman to give her a double
entendre.
So the barman came to the other side of the bar and gave her one.
"gave her one" is slang for having sexual intercourse with a lady/woman.

Is it? All I know is to slug someone. To hit them.

[sage]

Post by Donna Richoux

Post by Alan Dunford
Yes my own favourite (slightly risque) joke:-
A blonde went into a bar and asked the barman to give her a double
entendre.
So the barman came to the other side of the bar and gave her one.
"gave her one" is slang for having sexual intercourse with a lady/woman.

Is it? All I know is to slug someone. To hit them.
--
Best -- Donna Richoux

I think you are thinking of "fourpenny one" which is what one gives to
another person if said other person has upset one. There is also " a thick
ear".

Cheers, sage

[Mike Lyle]

Post by sage

Post by Donna Richoux

Post by Alan Dunford
Yes my own favourite (slightly risque) joke:-
A blonde went into a bar and asked the barman to give her a

double

Post by sage

Post by Donna Richoux

Post by Alan Dunford
entendre.
So the barman came to the other side of the bar and gave her one.
"gave her one" is slang for having sexual intercourse with a
lady/woman.

Is it? All I know is to slug someone. To hit them.
--
Best -- Donna Richoux

I think you are thinking of "fourpenny one" which is what one gives to
another person if said other person has upset one. There is also "

a

Post by sage
thick ear".

"Come by me and stop one."

Mike.

[sage]

Post by Shine

Post by sage

Post by Donna Richoux

Post by Alan Dunford
Yes my own favourite (slightly risque) joke:-
A blonde went into a bar and asked the barman to give her a

double

Post by sage

Post by Donna Richoux

Post by Alan Dunford
entendre.
So the barman came to the other side of the bar and gave her one.
"gave her one" is slang for having sexual intercourse with a lady/woman.

Is it? All I know is to slug someone. To hit them.
--
Best -- Donna Richoux

I think you are thinking of "fourpenny one" which is what one gives

to

Post by sage
another person if said other person has upset one. There is also "

a

Post by sage
thick ear".

"Come by me and stop one."
Mike.

Ice ee what you mean.

Cheers, Sage

[Alan Dunford]

Post by Shine

Post by sage

Post by Donna Richoux

Post by Alan Dunford
Yes my own favourite (slightly risque) joke:-
A blonde went into a bar and asked the barman to give her a

double

Post by sage

Post by Donna Richoux

Post by Alan Dunford
entendre.
So the barman came to the other side of the bar and gave her one.
"gave her one" is slang for having sexual intercourse with a lady/woman.

Is it? All I know is to slug someone. To hit them.
--
Best -- Donna Richoux

I think you are thinking of "fourpenny one" which is what one gives

to

Post by sage
another person if said other person has upset one. There is also "

a

Post by sage
thick ear".

"Come by me and stop one.

Well when I wss a lad (over 50 years ago) that was a suggestion for an
advert for Durex, a then popular rubber sheath. (:-)

Alan

[david56]

Post by Donna Richoux

Post by Alan Dunford
Yes my own favourite (slightly risque) joke:-
A blonde went into a bar and asked the barman to give her a double
entendre.
So the barman came to the other side of the bar and gave her one.
"gave her one" is slang for having sexual intercourse with a lady/woman.

Is it? All I know is to slug someone. To hit them.

This is common and widespread UK slang, going back decades at least.
e.g. "Did you give her one?"

I think the impact of the joke above has been diminished by the
barman having to travel. I render this (rather funny) joke as:

A woman went into a bar and asked the barman for a double ententre.
So he gave her one.

[Mike Lyle]

Post by david56

Post by Donna Richoux

Post by Alan Dunford
Yes my own favourite (slightly risque) joke:-
A blonde went into a bar and asked the barman to give her a

double

Post by david56

Post by Donna Richoux

Post by Alan Dunford
entendre.
So the barman came to the other side of the bar and gave her one.
"gave her one" is slang for having sexual intercourse with a
lady/woman.

Is it? All I know is to slug someone. To hit them.

This is common and widespread UK slang, going back decades at

least.

Post by david56
e.g. "Did you give her one?"
I think the impact of the joke above has been diminished by the
A woman went into a bar and asked the barman for a double ententre.
So he gave her one.

Donna's missed a bit of AUE if she's unaware of "On a scale of one to
ten, I'd give her one."

Mike.

[david56]

Post by Shine

Post by david56

Post by Donna Richoux

Post by Alan Dunford
Yes my own favourite (slightly risque) joke:-
A blonde went into a bar and asked the barman to give her a

double

Post by david56

Post by Donna Richoux

Post by Alan Dunford
entendre.
So the barman came to the other side of the bar and gave her one.
"gave her one" is slang for having sexual intercourse with a lady/woman.

Is it? All I know is to slug someone. To hit them.

This is common and widespread UK slang, going back decades at

least.

Post by david56
e.g. "Did you give her one?"
I think the impact of the joke above has been diminished by the
A woman went into a bar and asked the barman for a double ententre.
So he gave her one.

Donna's missed a bit of AUE if she's unaware of "On a scale of one to
ten, I'd give her one."

It's worth mentioning that the two meanings of "give her one" are
differentiated by putting the stress on different words. The "have
sex with" meaning is "GIVE her one".

[Sara Lorimer]

Post by david56

Post by Mike Lyle
Donna's missed a bit of AUE if she's unaware of "On a scale of one to
ten, I'd give her one."

It's worth mentioning that the two meanings of "give her one" are
differentiated by putting the stress on different words. The "have
sex with" meaning is "GIVE her one".

There's also "I'd hit it," meaning either "I would have sex with her,
given an opportunity" or "I would give it a punch." (I don't know if
"I'd hit it" ever is used to mean "I would have sex with him.")

[david56]

Post by Sara Lorimer

Post by david56

Post by Mike Lyle
Donna's missed a bit of AUE if she's unaware of "On a scale of one to
ten, I'd give her one."

It's worth mentioning that the two meanings of "give her one" are
differentiated by putting the stress on different words. The "have
sex with" meaning is "GIVE her one".

There's also "I'd hit it," meaning either "I would have sex with her,
given an opportunity" or "I would give it a punch." (I don't know if
"I'd hit it" ever is used to mean "I would have sex with him.")

I never heard that.

Reducing to the minimum, one man can say to another, while looking at
a woman: "I would; wouldn't you?"

[don groves]

Post by david56

Post by Sara Lorimer

Post by david56

Post by Mike Lyle
Donna's missed a bit of AUE if she's unaware of "On a scale of one to
ten, I'd give her one."

It's worth mentioning that the two meanings of "give her one" are
differentiated by putting the stress on different words. The "have
sex with" meaning is "GIVE her one".

There's also "I'd hit it," meaning either "I would have sex with her,
given an opportunity" or "I would give it a punch." (I don't know if
"I'd hit it" ever is used to mean "I would have sex with him.")

I never heard that.
Reducing to the minimum, one man can say to another, while looking at
a woman: "I would; wouldn't you?"

A gentleman would say, "I would if she asked me, ..."
--
dg (domain=ccwebster)

[Mark Barratt]

Post by don groves

Post by david56
I never heard that.
Reducing to the minimum, one man can say to another, while looking at
a woman: "I would; wouldn't you?"

A gentleman would say, "I would if she asked me, ..."

Whereas the less gentlemanly might reply "I have. Haven't you?"

[Richard Maurer]

David56 wrote:
A woman went into a bar and asked the barman for a double ententre.
So he gave her one.


Alan Dunford while giving another version wrote:
"gave her one" is slang for having sexual intercourse
with a lady/woman.


Mike Lyle wrote:
Donna's missed a bit of AUE if she's unaware of
"On a scale of one to ten, I'd give her one."



The joke doesn't work around here, at least not
in the same way.

First, "scale of" requires an "a" here.
"I gave her a one".

Second, we don't have the sexual intercourse meaning.
It probably exists somewhere, but it is not one of the
major ones.

When I read the joke I figured that it was
the name of a drink, and that the barkeep also
told an appropriate joke.

(I am still trying to figure out if "leg over"
can be used innocently in the UK.)

-- ---------------------------------------------
Richard Maurer To reply, remove half
Sunnyvale, California of a homonym of a synonym for also.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

[Mike Lyle]

Richard Maurer wrote:
[...]

Post by Richard Maurer
(I am still trying to figure out if "leg over"
can be used innocently in the UK.)

Only with the greatest caution. Cricket-lovers will know what I mean:
I think we covered it (as it were: horse-lovers will know what I
mean) in the Cricket lingo thread, but a BBC commentator used it
innocently and they all corpsed for about five minutes. It's played
back so often that it's now only laughable if you find that kind of
laughter infectious, and I'm afraid I do.

Mike.

[Andrew Bull]

Post by Mike Lyle
[...]

Post by Richard Maurer
(I am still trying to figure out if "leg over"
can be used innocently in the UK.)

I think we covered it (as it were: horse-lovers will know what I
mean) in the Cricket lingo thread, but a BBC commentator used it
innocently and they all corpsed for about five minutes.

"Innocently" - Agnew has admitted he used the phrase "couldn't quite get his
leg over" deliberately.

[Mike Lyle]

Post by Andrew Bull

Post by Mike Lyle
[...]

Post by Richard Maurer
(I am still trying to figure out if "leg over"
can be used innocently in the UK.)

I think we covered it (as it were: horse-lovers will know what I
mean) in the Cricket lingo thread, but a BBC commentator used it
innocently and they all corpsed for about five minutes.

"Innocently" - Agnew has admitted he used the phrase "couldn't

quite

Post by Andrew Bull
get his leg over" deliberately.

It figures, given his propensity for sending colleagues spoof faxes
and text messages when they're on air*. But, on the other hand, I
thought it was BJ who said it.

*I don't know if it's still like that, but the BBC had a rich
tradition of on-air practical jokes: anything from slipping in fake
news items to setting fire to the bottom of the page the announcer
was reading.

Mike.

[Harvey Van Sickle]

Post by Shine
Here is the joke I cherish most, because I love one-liners that
play on words' double meanings.
An employer was asked to write a letter of reference for a lazy
employee whom he had recently dismissed. He wanted to be truthful,
"This man was fired with enthusiasm. You will be lucky if you can
get him to work for you."
Do you have this kind of jokes that have to do with Enlgish usage
and word's double meanings? If so, please post it for me.

"I went to the legislature to see government in action, but I couldn't
decide whether that was two words or three."